It’s refreshing to see that the lunatics, lightly disguised as the EU regulators, have at last come up with yet another ingenious if not completely barmy idea for ruining the enjoyment of millions of children across Europe – balloons.
Boy, this is a great addition to the Health & Safety Executive’s collection of stupid and unnecessary rules and regulations. There is to be no unsupervised balloon blowing by under 8s, so the seafront balloon-seller, who currently employs an army of 5 year olds to inflate his souvenir offerings each morning, has got problems.
But don’t be complacent. They are also banning party games including whistles and magnetic fishing games because the small parts or chemicals used in making them are decreed to be too risky. I’m sure many people will wonder why members of the EU regulators have been using their small parts to dream up such crass ideas.
Surely a much simpler way than lumbering us with all these rules to keep themselves in work, along with the zealots who can only say ‘it’s health and safety’ whenever you ask why you have to have a cold plate on which to put your lukewarm food. Why not ban fun and enjoyment altogether?
OK, so Oliver Cromwell has already tried this and he ended up on a spike outside Westminster Hall. Strangely enough he didn’t find that remotely funny either.
In one stroke it would prevent people poking themselves in the eye with the straw while drinking from a carton in a darkened theatre, stop all this irritating laughter we hear from young children at parties, stop anyone from smiling to prevent tooth decay caused by the weather and put an end to Christmas, Halloween, holidays and other festive occasions.
So, never lend your Nintendo to a small child, it’ll have the back off and gulped down the electronics before you can say Super Mario!
